What's the difference between a pessimist and a magnet?

What's the difference between a pessimist and a magnet?

Answer:

magnet has a positive side.

What three letters alter boys into men and girls into women?

 What three letters alter boys into men and girls into women?

Answer:

 AGE

What goes up when rain comes down?

Q: What goes up when rain comes down?

A: The umbrella.

Why do most married men die before their wives?

Why do most married men die before their wives?

Answer :

Because they want to.

How do you make the number one disappear?

How do you make the number one disappear?

Answer:

Add the letter G and it’s “gone”!

What word is spelled incorrectly in every single dictionary?

What word is spelled incorrectly in every single dictionary?

Answer : Incorrectly.

What is the longest sentence that a man knows?

What is the longest sentence that a man knows?

Answer : I do.

What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

Answer: An onion

Joke of the day

I ate a clock yesterday, it was very time-consuming.

Real joke

A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don’t need it.